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Apr 27, 2006

Big, Big Snow

Snowjob

(... Looks like I'm on a Malkin jag.)

I don't blame Michelle for posting this shot of the new White House Press Secretary on Tuesday.  Given that Tony Snow's appointment was still a rumor at that point, Malkin disclosed straight away that this image came from the right-wing photoshop factory.  However, I think the image might suggest a few things about the current wingnut state of mind -- especially when you compare it to Wednesday's real thing:

Bushsnow-1

Here's how I read the parts:

A.  This operation, once famous for "blissful denial," will rise again!

B.  If you think some of the proportions are off, well, we've also brought in some new special effects people.

C.  My hair is black.  I might dye it grey, however, to blend in with everyone here who is aging so fast.

D.  In extending an olive branch to the media, I have on my "contrite" blue tie.

E.  Promising total access to himself and his inner circle, Dubya gave me his lapel pin.

F.  If I don't turn around, I can just act like it's still the FOX logo.

G.  Okay, they've had a few problems around here.  But this appointment is going to be big -- really big.  (Click pic for true size, as shown on MM.)


(image 1:  David Lunde. via michellemalkin.com.  image 2: Tim Sloan/AFP. April 26, 2006.  Washington.  Via YahooNews.)

Comments

C. Republican style "Lego People" hair. The team helmet.

The joke around DC is that Snow will recieve back pay when he starts his new job because he's already been working for the White House many years at FUX, excuse me, FOX.

The uproar of laughter after these two clowns exited the press room yesterday was telling.

The second photo has more fakeness.

I've been seeing the name Tony Snow for a few days, but I had no idea who he was. I can see why they would think he was perfect for the job, in the same way that some people think that cute, perky know-nothings are perfect for TV "journalist" positions. I don't really know much about him, except that he's from FOX News (which tells me enough), but he is "telegenic".

It doesn't help Bush any to be standing next to him - Snow looks fresh, tall, handsome (in that TV soap opera star way), which makes Bush look older, smaller, and not very attractive. (We'll see how Snow looks after working in the White Hosue for a couple of years, though.)

I know that's a flag behind Bush, but with the fringe on top of his head and the stars, it looks like a dunce cap or clown's hat.

I went and watched a clip of Bush introducing him, and as usual, I wonder who Bush thinks he's talking to. It's not even as if he's talking to a child; he speaks as if he's talking down to someone.

Usually the extensive photoshopping was more likely to be done on women then on men. It looks like men are facing the same pressure to look physically attractive as they age (not that it works in the case of what mugatea calls the helmet-headed Republican men). In the top photo, Snow is in focus but the White House logo behind him is askew and blurred. The twin microphones in the lower right hand corner of each photo suggests that the result of Snow's appointment will be just more double-talk from the Administration. The twin mikes also look phallic; Snow will lie to the press with with more masculine swagger than whipping-boy McClellan. The administration sees Snow as their magic bullet--a "manly" man who will crack the whip and get the press back in line.

Usually the extensive photoshopping was more likely to be done on women then on men. It looks like men are facing the same pressure to look physically attractive as they age (not that it works in the case of what mugatea calls the helmet-headed Republican men). In the top photo, Snow is in focus but the White House logo behind him is askew and blurred. The twin microphones in the lower right hand corner of each photo suggests that the result of Snow's appointment will be just more double-talk from the Administration. The twin mikes also look phallic; Snow will lie to the press with with more masculine swagger than whipping-boy McClellan. The administration sees Snow as their magic bullet--a "manly" man who will crack the whip and get the press back in line.

Has anyone else noticed that Tony Snow's voice never dropped from when he was a kid?

You see, you all rely on me for the tough observations.

Fighting cancer probably accounts for a good bit of the physical differences between the TV commentator's picture and that of the new Press Secretary.

Oh come on, is no one going to comment on the panicked stupified
look that they caught on Snow's face in the real photo? Wide open eyes,
open mouth? I know that this is just a "lucky" shot by the photographer
immortalizing some passing facial expression, but the point is why
would the photog or Yahoo choose to use THAT picture from amongst
the dozens that were probably taken. There was a time when our media
was way more careful to pick the pictures that didn;t make the new
guy in this administration look like a complete dufus and tried (rarely
successfully) to avoid the shots of the pres in his "duh, what's my next
line?" expression. Now (at long last, sir) they look for those "candid"
degrading and revealing shots to go with. Thank god that that hasn't
changed!

The Poor Man is right. Snow's head is gigantic, about 30% taller than Bush's.

But it looks EVEN BIGGER in Malkin fantasy land - larger relative to his shoulders, and too big even for the frame of the photo.

Perhaps this is some primitive instinct shared by the ancient dwellers of Easter Island and modern wingnuts.

The "pole" in W's head makes him into a character on a merry-go-round, down and down, round and round. Same old tune.

MSM seems to be giving props for "objectivity" to Snow for having once been able to call W incompetent and etc. but there will be rosey times on that roundabout, Snow or no.

What about the look on Rove's face coming out of Fitzland yesterday? Didn't look happy to me. Whaddya say Tony?

Amid rampant speculation, it is rumored that Fox News and the Bush administration will be collaborating on a new program direct from the White House. An unnamed Fox source has confirmed the speculation and has provided some further information to Thought Theater. Bucking the trend towards reality based programming; the show is expected to be loosely based upon the selective facts surrounding the internal workings of the President and his policy operatives. The source went on to say that the program will have a superficial talk show - game show format where reporters will be allowed to ask questions and then each member of the White House Press Corp will use a hand-held device to vote on whether they believe the answers that are provided by Tony. Once the question and answer session is completed, the reporter with the most correct votes will enter a soundproof booth with Helen Thomas.

Helen will be wired with a microphone. Tony will then turn on Helen’s mic and allow her to ask a question. Once the question has been asked, the Press Corp votes again on whether the question should be allowed or whether the winning reporter in the sound booth should bitch slap Helen and end her questioning. The unnamed source, when pressed, refused to acknowledge that the tabulation system had been provided by Diebold. At that point Brit Hume’s voice was overheard in the background calling for security. The phone then went silent. Efforts to contact (Juan) the source have since failed.

read more observations here:

www.thoughttheater.com

Slouching_toward_paranoia:

Your right, of course, Snow has that dear caught in the headlights look about him. And since many in the media (from Keith on down) don't think Faux is part of their cadre (and Bush numbers are in the low 30s) they probably feel free to lambast anyone that crosses their sights. In this case, its Snow.

DEER! Must master the use of the preview button!

AAARGHH!

The second picture reminded me of a ventriloquist and his dummy. (Someone will come up with "which one's the dummy?")

But Bush does have that "my lips are not moving but the dummy's talking" expression.

Do they use those creepy undertakers' pins in the corner of the mouth to get those cheesy 'oh so insincere smiles' and what is it with those eyes...that unnatural glisten, almost an inner brightness..., is he on drugs or has someone replaced his inner night light with a 100 watter ??? He looks like he's made out of some synthetic wash & wear stuff that comes out of the dryer all unwrinkled and squeeky clean but I guess that's why they picked him...all washed and scrubbed with no brains - tell him what to say and he's "ON".

Tony Snow is my very least favorite talking head, but that aside, I must stick up for the actual Size of his head.

It's not that his head is large, it's just that Bush's head is so tiny. Compare him to anyone for a reference point on this.

Daniel DiRito's comment is the funniest thing that I've read on any blog anywhere. Excellent work, and glad to have the link to your blog Daniel.

ASTA, "..reminded me of a ventriloquist.." I don't need to know if you remember; Edgar Bergen/Charlie McCarthy, but that was my radio thought precisely + vaudeville all the way.

What I find creepy is that he isn't looking into the camera - so it looks like he's avoiding eye-contact. Just what I expect from this administration

jt from BC, we are definitely on the same frequency.

The thing is, I think Bush is the Mortimer Snerd of the act. But I just couldn't figure out a way to fit all those analogies into one neat, tidy package that made any sense. It would take pretzel logic to do that.
:-)

You forgot the thought bubble over W's head: "Thank God I'm getting this ruthless hack Snowy in here. Little Scotty was acting like a friggin' fag, damned near ruined me with his limp answers."

As someone else already mentioned, Snow's battle with cancer seems to have caused some of the aging. The second photo is also so incredibly washed out. Even the blue in the background is faded. It gives the impression of everything being old, tired, and worn out. I notice that Snow, when manipulated, posed, and photoshopped, is confident and friendly. In real life he's insecure and distant. The second Snow is the one we're all going to be seeing.

Yup. It's an uncomplementary photo.

Snow has his eyes bugging out. His mouth is all confused looking. Bush has his face all squished together. His hair looks rumpled. He has a flag pole sticking out of his head.

The thing that struck me was that in the top picture Snow's head goes all the way to the top. In the second one the framing is all weird because the photographer wanted to get that little flag in on top of the white house.

To me the little flag is what makes these photos. In the top one Snow is wearing the flag. He owns it. He can take it off or he can put it on. You and I aren't wearing flag pins so we aren't as important.

In the bottom one, the little flag is there on top of the white house. When Bush leaves the flag will still be there. He can't take it down. He doesn't own it.

The flag reminds us that the president is a civil servant. If he's doing something that we don't like, he shouldn't take an attitude about "Screw you, I'm the decider." In America the people decide.

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